6 Tips for How to Have More Patience as a Working Mom From a Therapist
Do you ever dream of that magical moment when you finally achieve "mom-zen" - a state of infinite patience amidst the chaos of juggling your personal, professional, and family responsibilities? As a licensed clinical psychologist, entrepreneur, and mom myself, I understand the fantasy of patient parenting—and how hard it can be to integrate it all.
The truth is that there's no ultimate end state to achieve. Your capacity, needs, and goals can constantly fluctuate, and it's more about learning how to accept that than trying to control everything.
Through my personal experiences and my work with countless other moms, I've learned practical tips to help moms develop patience for both themselves and the people in their lives.
Here, I've compiled some of my favorite strategies so you can be empowered to manage stress, build resilience, and create a more peaceful experience for yourself and your loved ones.
Let's dive in.
Why Being a Patient Parent Can Be Especially Tough for Entrepreneurial Moms
Life is a constant balancing act for working moms. You're running a business, managing all the tasks at home, making time for your relationship, and somehow prioritizing your own personal development as well. It's no wonder patience can wear thin.
Here are some common reasons why patience can be such a challenge for entrepreneurial moms:
1. Chronic Stress
The constant pressure to excel in both work and motherhood can leave you feeling chronically stressed. This stress can deplete your emotional reserves, making it harder to stay calm when dealing with your child's behavior or navigating business decisions.
Imagine your patience as a gas tank: the more stressed you are, the faster it depletes. At times, there's nothing left in the tank for moments that truly require a patient approach.
2. Unpredictable Schedule
On top of that, the entrepreneurial life often comes with unpredictable schedules and unexpected challenges. This constant flux can make it difficult to create predictable routines for yourself and your children, which can further contribute to frustration on all sides.
3. Mom Guilt
The pressure to be a "perfect" mom can be especially intense for entrepreneurial moms who may already feel like they're not giving enough. This guilt can be a major drain on emotional resources and make it harder to be patient with yourself and your children.
But the good news is that having less patience doesn't make you a bad mom! It simply means you're a human being juggling a lot. The key is understanding the root cause of your impatience and developing strategies to manage it.
What Does Patient Parenting Look Like?
Growing your patience isn't just for the sake of your kids, spouse, or employees: it's for you, too. By cultivating the skill of patience, you'll feel more grounded and in control.
Here are a few of my favorite strategies that I recommend to my clients (and use myself) to be a more patient mother.
1. Identify your triggers.
Patient parenting starts with recognizing what triggers your frustration and pushes your patience buttons. Is it a screaming toddler in the grocery store? Missed deadlines? A never-ending to-do list? Once you identify your triggers, you can develop strategies for managing them before they escalate.
2. Notice early warning signs before you snap.
Pay attention to your body's signals. Do you clench your jaw when stressed? Feel a tightness in your chest? Identifying these early warning signs allows you to take a step back and implement calming techniques before frustration boils over.
3. Give yourself a pause.
Feeling overwhelmed? Take a quick mindfulness break. Simple techniques like deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or a short meditation can help you refocus and regain your self-control.
4. Reframe negative self-talk.
We all have an inner critic, but it doesn't have to be in the driver's seat. After you lose your temper, you might start thinking, “I'm such a bad person for losing my temper." Challenge those negative thoughts with more compassionate self-talk: "It's okay to feel frustrated sometimes. Let's take a deep breath and try a different approach."
5. Reduce the things that drain your patience.
Sometimes becoming more patient means figuring out what's consistently leaving you with nothing left to give. When you're exhausted, hungry, overwhelmed, or juggling too many responsibilities at once, even small frustrations can feel like the final straw.
Look for ways to create a little more breathing room. Can you delegate a task, ask your partner for help, simplify your schedule, or protect time for sleep and meals?
Reducing unnecessary sources of stress can give you more emotional bandwidth when the inevitable difficult moments with your kids come along.
6. Practice repair, not perfection.
Patient parenting takes practice, especially when you're balancing the demands of motherhood, work, and everything in between. Even the most patient mom will lose her patience sometimes. You might raise your voice, respond more sharply than you intended, or reach a point where you simply need a break. Recognize what happened, repair the moment, and keep going.
Learning from those moments is more productive than beating yourself up. Build the awareness and skills to handle difficult moments differently over time, while showing your children that mistakes can be acknowledged and repaired.
Create a Transition Ritual Between Work and Mom Mode
For working moms, patience can run out at the handoff between roles. You might spend the day answering client emails, making decisions, and solving problems, only to close your laptop and immediately become “Mom.”
There’s no real transition, just a rapid shift from one set of demands to another. That constant context switching, combined with the mental load of running a business and raising a family, can leave very little emotional bandwidth by the end of the day.
Instead of expecting yourself to instantly switch from work mode to mom mode, create a short transition ritual. This could be as simple as closing your laptop, taking a few deep breaths, changing clothes, stepping outside for five minutes, or taking a moment to mentally acknowledge that the workday is over.
Give your brain a clear signal that one role is ending and another is beginning. Over time, a consistent transition can make it easier to leave work frustrations behind and show up with more patience for your family.
When It’s More Than a Lack of Patience
Patient parenting doesn't mean you're calm every moment of every day. Everyone loses their patience sometimes, especially when they’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or touched-out. But if you’re feeling unusually irritable, snapping at people more often, or struggling to control your anger, it may be more than stress.
A short fuse can be a symptom of depression, anxiety, or postpartum mood changes. One clue is whether the irritability improves with more rest or support, or whether it sticks around even when things are relatively calm. If it’s persistent, feels out of character, or comes alongside other changes in your mood, sleep, appetite, energy, or ability to enjoy things, it’s worth talking with a therapist.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey.
I'm here to support you. I deeply understand the challenges that entrepreneurial moms face, and I'm passionate about helping you become a more patient parent (and reach your other unique goals).
I offer personalized one-on-one coaching for moms like you, drawing from my personal experience as a mother and business owner, along with my professional experience as a licensed clinical psychologist. Together, we'll cover topics like
Identity and self-worth
Mindful parenting
Work-life balance
Self-care routines
Stress management and relaxation
Postpartum challenges
And more
I'm here to help you navigate the joys and challenges of motherhood one step at a time. Book a consultation for support.
Meet Dr. Lilit Ayrapetyan, Psy.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Lilit Ayrapetyan is a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Motherwell Therapy, specializing in motherhood, pregnancy, postpartum mental health, mindful parenting, attachment, and the intersection of career and motherhood. She has training in perinatal mood disorders and advanced perinatal mental health psychotherapy and provides evidence-based support for working and entrepreneurial mothers.